Healing through Grieving our Wounding

Often clients use "stimming toys" to help them focus in class or to distract themselves from the inner issues they fear. it might be wounding from childhood or late childhood experiences. I have found as I grieved my mother, I know this is a different situation but it is still grieving, that if I let the grief happen , my body feels "heard" and the grieving does have an end. I found that the Gift of this grieving gave me compassion for others. In my judgement, if a client grieves their wounding they will have compassion for others in similar situations. Further healing happens when the client comes to understand the subpersonality they formed in order to be accepted in the family as a child. This subpersonality or mask is not their whole self. The subpersonality, however, gave them gifts that can be realized once the client can disidentify from the subpersonality and look at it for what it is --- a strategy for survival, a survival subpersonality. Once the client can look more objectively at this subpersonality they can realize they have others. For example, the client can see the survival subpersonality as a kind of Victim or a Child needing love and attention. They can also see an Artist subpersonality in them or a Mother/Father. They can now expand their experience and decide which subpersonality they wish to use. We all have them.